Im writing a story about my personal life. I have a few pages i want someone to read?

This is just a story i felt like writing to get my feelings out about what just occured in my life recently. its not really that good, but i want to hear what you think. what can i improve on? and does anyone have any ideas to add? thanks:)

Chapter One

You learn new things everyday. Sometimes the easy way, but more often the hard way. It’s easy to fall for the “perfect” boyfriend, but is he really what you were looking for? Questions like this haunt me all the time. I often find myself wondering if I’ll ever meet the right guy for me. After my last relationship, I have a hard time of falling in love with other guys, other than Nate. Every morning, I wake up thinking of him. Every night, I go to bed thinking of him. My love for him was and still is so strong, even if we’re over and done with. I used to think love was too strong of a word to be used so lightly, but once you meet the right guy, you know when love should be used to describe your feelings for him. This is my story, but it’s not just my story that makes it special. It’s the true feelings that go along with it.
It was the first day of school. Back to my regular routine. Wake up. Shower. Do my hair. Get dressed. Eat breakfast. Brush my teeth. Yuck. I threw on my brand new chocolate brown Coach sneakers and grabbed my hot pink Betsey Johnson bag off of the kitchen counter.
“Bye, sweetie! Have a good day at school!” I heard my mother call as I closed the front door. I opened the heavy door to my pearl white Range Rover that I had received as a gift from my parents for my sixteenth birthday last month and threw my new backpack in the passenger seat, positioning myself at the wheel.
When I finally arrived at school, after a jam of cars that seemed to not be budging throughout the center of town, I raced to get to my homeroom on time.
“Jazmine? Jazmine D’Alessandro?” The teacher called off my name from the attendance, just as I rushed into the classroom.
“Here,” I said quietly, trying to find an empty seat. I looked around the classroom, half embarrassed and half worried. I scanned the room and my eyes made contact with a new boy.
“There’s a seat right here,” The new boy spoke with a deep, friendly voice. I quickly rushed over to where he was pointing, right next to him. I sat down.
“Thanks,” I said, my face bright red.
“Anything for a girl as cute as you,” He smiled at me, and that’s when I first noticed how cute he was. I felt so relaxed around him, something I haven’t felt in a while. I smiled back.
“Nathaniel Ericson?” The teacher continued to call names off her list. Everyone turned around and searched the classroom for the person with the unfamiliar name.
“Uh, you can call me Nate,” Again, the new boy spoke. Everyone looked him up and down, probably already trying to judge if he was
“popular” material. That was the problem with my school. All anyone cared about was popularity and ranks. I’m no captain of any cheering squad, but I’d consider myself popular, with many friends and ex boyfriends.
I turned to evaluate Nate again, when we made awkward eye contact. Nate smiled and waved.
“Hi, I’m Nate.” He greeted me, his big, full lips, curling, trying to fight back yet another smile.
“I’m Jazmine,”

GREAT story – – – keep going



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5 Responses to Im writing a story about my personal life. I have a few pages i want someone to read?

  1. seriously says:

    Its good i like itReferences :

  2. Mileena says:

    very interesting and nice 2 read god love it :) great job doll ;)References :

  3. Brushofsunshine says:

    Not great with the adjectives you chose, but it is overall amazing.

    If you want good opinions you should post what you have on teenink.;_ylt=ArDRPPF7C_2AYyVkcT2yzfbsy6IX;_ylv=3?qid=20110716222949AAcYmOyReferences : My novel (only 4 chapters so far) has 203 views, 3 comments, 39 ratings and a 5/5 average.

  4. Mat says:

    GREAT story – – – keep going


    lolReferences :

  5. flowerchild says:

    I’m going to be honest; it probably cannot be published but if you do try and get it published it will be just a cute little teen novel if anything. It is pretty good writing- but "anything for a girl as cute as you"- its a bit corny. you asked for opinions so im giving you mine. I think its great that you are spending your time writing about your life even if you dont want to publish it. keep working on it- it sounds good for a novel that teenagers would be interested in i guess. obviously it doesnt have to be excellent writing as you are (i suppose) writing it for yourself and maybe to show to friends, so again, it’s great that you have found something that will actually benefit you (writing WILL help you in life) and it is good to express yourself. Maybe think more creatively and abstractly. I dont know if you are writing like a biography or anything but if you arent i would suggest mixing things up a bit. make it different. different from what the common teenager experiences. at this point in your story all i am reading is an average teenage novel with no substance or meaning. so if you consider these things your novel will turn out a lot better and i think you as well as others will enjoy it more and get more out of it. but, if you just want to stick to what you know and feel as an average teenager thats fine too as you will still be expressing yourself and enjoying a new hobby that is good for your mind.References :

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