This is a pretty unusual situation and I don’t know where to go to.. so I hope you guys can help.
More than 2 months ago, I approached this confident, well-spoken (not to mention very attractive) guy, Danny* I met at a leadership seminar to help me w/ some performance coaching sessions. We got along great, had good chemistry and as a payback for his services, I’m doing some advertising work for him. I’ve made some big improvements in my life habits, altho I’m still struggling. But only after a couple weeks.. we’ve started talking on a daily basis about his coaching me and doing design work for him. He wanted to coach me for free b/c I don’t have a job now and he "sees the light in my potential" – w/ no strings attached.
This is the part where it gets really confusing. Danny is one of those new-Christian Science believers who gets very deep into stuff.. and when we first met, he was touching me on the arm, the leg.. and I immediately backed off. Then I wrote an email saying I just want to keep things professional and quickly responded that *I need to keep things professional.* I was like, what? But since then, we have kept a clean coaching-client relationship. It was difficult b/c this guy is SUPER good looking (like 9 out of 10) and has, I’m not joking, hundreds of women chasing him on Facebook. He’s almost a celebrity status with thousands of fans. But I’ve always been grounded, treat him like a friend (even though I do like him) and tell him the truth or criticism. We laugh ALL the time, he always looks directly at me in the eye, gets very close in my personal space and calls me in the morning and sometimes at night. We’ve texted songs, poems and pictures to each other. But he knows that I don’t take crap from him, even though everyone else does. Later I found out he has a girlfriend, but she’s very young and just agrees with everything he says and says he’s amazing.
Well, Danny and I are marketers on Facebook, so he posts stuff about me and did PR for me on his website.. like ALL the time.. he’s mentioned me a few times by name, then other times he puts videos and tips.. often hinting them about stuff for me, what I’ve done or am doing. I don’t know if he’s doing this just b/c I’m his only student, but he has tons of friends and I’m the only female he posts about, even more than his G/F. His G/F is young and a model, I’m above-average looking, but was always more the smarter than prettier type.
So I don’t know what to make of this.. 2 of my friends think he’s messing with me.. other people think he likes me.. I’m just confused. I had canceled our last coaching session b/c I told him I was developing feelings and this was getting too much for me. He first said that of course he can’t go out with me b/c he has a girlfriend, then when I said I need some time apart… he like, literally freaked out and was upset that I wasn’t honoring our coaching commitment. (I don’t owe him anything anymore, so he has no reason to freak out) Since then, we’ve made up and are fine now.. and he’s insisted on free coaching sessions with him but.. my intuition is telling me since that first day – this guy has liked me, but is denying it. Don’t know why… b/c until I get my work/life situation resolved? Or he’s too afraid of leaving his gorgeous girlfriend? or that he wants a girlfriend who adores and will never question him?
Or I don’t know if this is a story I made up in my mind. But all of my girlfriends say his behavior is very bizarre and don’t know what to think anymore. I tried to stay professional and not get involved, but it’s too late.. I do think he did say/do things that seduced me into him. Please help – thanks.
In my opinion and I am a male, I think you’re reading way to much into this and to listen to your girlfriends is just girl gossip. He already told you it is strictly professional and he is in a committed relationship. I’d put it to you like this, If Danny is only trying to help you. Why Not? If he touches you then I would quit with his help. And then you would be right; My instincts tell me you may be provoking the relationship that you are trying to keep so professional and in that case you should cease all contact with him before you get in between him and his girlfriend. Just one males opinion!